So I'm thinking La Pistolero and The Tall Skinny Dude have something very brokeback going on . Not that there's anything wrong with that , I'm just saying ... One never seems to go anywhere without the other . A nice sunny day out in the Alps , birds singing , green grass and Edelweiss everywhere , a great day for a bike ride in the mountains , and those two are like that annoying couple you know ; the one where your friend can't go out to play with the boys unless he brings along his "special friend". Riding up the last hill , down the last hill , along the road into town , whenever one tried to go on his own , the other had to join him . They spent pretty much the whole day in each others shadow . I was half expecting to see them holding hands when they finished their ride . It was all too cute . Once again , I'm just sayin ...
So the French Hero Of The Day won his third ever stage , all of them being after the desent of a big mountain in the Alps . I'm thinking he must have been eating a lot of cookies . Otherwise , how could he be desending so fast all the time . Those skinny guys just can't go downhill fast , not enough mass . And I know from personal experience , baked goods make you faster downhill , something to do with gravity and acceleration .
Todays result shows what I know abaout bike racing , my podium prediction was ruined when the ex-convict cracked in a big way . Guess late nights dodging police takes it out of a man . He was blaming his broken elbow but the last time I was on my bike , I'm pretty sure I didn't use my elbow to turn the pedals , but that could just be me .
And so , another contender bites the dust . It's quickly turning into a two man race . Maybe they should end the suspense , fast forward to the last saturday , and let La Pistolero take his rightful place , standing upon the corpses of his vanquished foes .
In Other News :
As if being pulled off his bike and kicked while he was on the ground a couple of times wasn't enough , this morning the UCI Vampires woke McEwen up early to take blood . Seems they've decided , if they can't catch him actually doping , even though they are sure he must be , they'll just keep taking his blood until he's so weak he can't even get out of bed , let alone pedal 120 miles a day .
Not As Big As He Used To Be Tex lost more time today . Seems his plan now is to loose so much time that he's no longer a threat to anyone , even the Lantern Rouge , and then attack . Maybe if he keeps at it , next year he'll be far enough off the back that the bunch might let him win a stage out of pity .
Quotes :
La Pistolero - "I'm sorry , were we racing ? I couldn't tell , the pace was slow so I figured we were just out looking for a place to get a mocha . I promise next week I'll ride , I just need to work up the interest ".
A Tall Skinny Dude - "Okay , if I can't get rid of him in the mountains , I'll get enough guys to agree to fall off in the time trial and then we'll neutralize the stage . Then I'll be the winner ".
The Bald Yank - "I'm not sure I like being the team leader . Does this mean I have to stick my nose in the wind ? How about if I just keep a respectful distance from those guys just in front of me ? "
Prediction for tomorrow ...
Oh , I'm sorry , I nodded off . Tomorrow some no hopers will go up the road and a Yank will win . Then , after the tour , he'll test positive and end his career in disgrace . (And no , not the yank you're thinking of. But it will raise major doubts about his team and force a new sponsor out of bike racing .)
Anyone wanna play "Guess The Doper ?"
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